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up from the grave he arose

This is the part of the history where the scientists begin to tut and shake their heads in pity at the poor fools who believe in raising the dead to life. Unfortunately, it is also a fairly key plank of the whole Christian faith, so bear with me ...

Having established that Jesus was properly dead, rumours of his sitting up, talking and eating fish were a source of consternation to some. In particular, there were those who had staked their professional reputations on his being dead (on a permanent basis).

And yet, Jesus was spotted (or so it is claimed) not long after his death.

"and that he [Jesus] appeared to Peter, and then to the Twelve. After that he appeared to more than five hundred of the brothers at the same time ... Then he appeared to James, then to all the apostles, and last of all he appeared to me [Paul] also ..." 1 Corinthians 15:5-8

How on earth can we account for all these sightings of Jesus after his death?

The classic explantaion is that of "hallucination", and after all:

  • hallucinations can be brought on by psychological factors such as extreme stress, loss of sleep or mental disorder;
  • in one of the alleged sightings, Jesus' close friends failed to recognise him at first;
  • Jesus' disciples also claimed to have seen Moses and Elijah on a mountain top.

On the other hand:

  • it is a bit of a coincidence that just about all of Jesus' followers had the same hallucination;
  • it is strange that this trick of the light took in both Saul the Destroyer and Doubting Thomas;
  • it is unusual for hallucinations to book an appointment for a repeat performance.

In any event, if Jesus was dead, then where was his lifeless body while all these idle phantasms were carrying on?

3 Things that Certainly Didn't Happen
  1. Jesus' corpse was in a box in Peter's Galilee apartment, where he kept it hidden and talked to it at night after a hard day's preaching on his resurrection;
  2. Jesus' dead body was used as a giant size candle at a Roman orgy and everyone was too drunk to remember;
  3. Jesus' cadaver was holed up at the Jewish chief priests' HQ where they spat at it while discussing how to supress the rumours of him being raised from the dead.

So, it just got up and walked out?

We must fall back upon the old axiom that when all other contingencies fail, whatever remains, however improbable, must be the truth.
Sherlock Holmes (Sir Arthur Conan Doyle), "The Adventure of Bruce-Partington Plans"

And it must be true, because my Bible says so.

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Things that Live Beyond the Grave

1. Dracula;
2. The Mummy;
3. The Evil Dead (Pt 3);
4. Lazarus;
5. Pat Lally;

Top Five Hallucinogens

1. Psilocybin Mushrooms;
2. Peyote Cactus;
3. LSD;
4. Mescaline;
5. Discipleship;